Mincing words.

So much within, and so little willingness to let it all out; really, openly, honestly out.

Why? Because I am secretive by nature.

Some people call it depth, some refer to layers, or a chameleon-like ability to change for environment. All I know is that I am different things to different people. I sense this and reside in their vision as they would see me. At times I feel like a mirror, reflecting whatever they project for me. Most people are shallow enough to simply accept this, secure in their ‘knowledge’ of who and what I am. The sheep.

The select few who look deeper earn a measure of respect from me.

But I mince words here. Not just right here in this sentence, this paragraph, this post, but in this blog. Mincing words.

I circle my meanings and subjects, dancing from point to point, barely touching the true heart of the matter. Only the astute, the observant and intuitive, and those who have knowledge of what I speak are able to really decipher my ramblings. For the casual reader, they may seem to be fairly bland, perhaps wordy, observations.

And they are. They are often even balancing on a razor’s edge of nonsense. They dance, dance, dance around what I really mean, or feel.

Why?

Only some are meant to understand. Those who don’t understand, shouldn’t. The wrong people must not read what I say and know what I think or feel.

Many things to many people. Sometimes what I represent to one person does not match what I represent to another. It would not do to destroy perceptions. I do so hate to disappoint. There is either more or less of me than most people see. Why confuse?

And why do I not be simply that which I am for all people? I have been too fractured for too long. Shattered, really. It is a long process through this life to draw the sharp edges back together and fit them in place. The neverending jigsaw puzzle. Will I ever be whole, smooth and seamless?

Probably not. For now, I am what I am. Ask yourself what I am to you, then take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself why I am that to you. Chances are, it’s because of something you want or need.

If you can honestly say you want or need nothing from me, then why are you still around? There can only be one preferred answer to that. If you know you have that answer, I thank you for it.