According to this…
Cats: miscellanea|Behaving normally means I’m lying.
No…seriously. Most of these are the way I behave normally. Let’s analyze:
Touching the chin or rubbing the brow (I do this frequently)
Crossed arms or legs (I always have something crossed. Always drawn in. It’s protective.)
Playing with hair (Yup. Me.)
A line of perspiration on the brow if it isn’t a warm day (Ok, not this)
Saying “no” several times (It’s my favorite word…ask anyone who’s lived with me.)
Continually denying accusations (Duh. You deny if they aren’t true.)
Being extremely defensive (They’re out to get me. Of course I’m defensive.)
Providing more information and specifics than necessary (I’m wordy and socially inept.)
Inconsistencies in what is being shared (ok, not this, I don’t think.)
Body language and facial expressions don’t match what is being said such as saying “no,” but nodding the head up and down (What…this isn’t normal? I do that all the time.)
Smugness (I’m always smug. I have a right.)
Placing a barrier, such as a desk or chair, in front of self (another self-protective thing.)
Uncommon calmness (icily calm, or lethargically calm, or apathetically calm…but yeah. I’m always uncommonly calm.)
Unwillingness to touch spouse during conversation (I’m unwilling to touch ANYbody during conversations. cheezus.)
Being hesitant (and I’m always hesitant)
Slouching posture (I have terrible posture.)
Rigidity or fidgeting (I have been described as both rigid AND an incessant fidgeter. I’m doomed.)
Differing behaviors; not acting in a usual fashion (No, I always act this way)
Unnatural or limited arm and hand movements (dunno… I gesture a lot I’m told, but it tends to be choppy)
Partial shrug (another natural thing)
Lack of finger pointing (but that’s RUDE to do that. )
Unusual voice fluctuations, word choice, sentence structure (compared to others, yeah, mine’s unusual, but it’s always that way)
Stalling the conversation by repetitive use of pauses and comments like “um” or “you know” (No, that’s just bad communication. Spoken communication is very difficult for some of us…you know.)
Lack of use of contractions; prefers emphasizing “not” when talking (um…I thought that was just vehemence)
Avoidance of eye contact, eyes glancing to the right, staring past you, or turning away from you while talking (what…connecting with another human being through eye contact? *shiver* No thanks.)
The Stritofs note that it is quite possible to mistake nervousness or distraction for lying or for misreading or mislabeling your spouse’s behaviors. (Ohhhh…finally….so I’m not a liar AFTER all…. Just nervous or distracted. How about I’m just normally that way? Cheezus.)
