The camel’s back is broken, and the straw that caused it has me in tears.

In the grand scheme or things, it’s not a big deal. It’s not even necessarily permanent.

But I am hurt, and I feel betrayed. And I’m far too familiar with these feelings over the course of the last 15 years. I’m getting so tired of it.

I don’t want to be the butt of jokes. I don’t want to be belittled for things I think or feel. I’m tired of being ‘wrong’ all the time. I’m tired of having it constantly pointed out that the way I do things is bad.

And it hurts me beyond measure when I am not considered, when my opinion is dismissed and not taken into account.

I am absolutely BEYOND RAGE that this was done today, and a decision was made PURPOSELY be to get back at me for an imagined slight.

He has fucked up in royal manner, and I’m not going to forgive. Not this time. Not ever. I’m so done. I’m so finished.

We’ve talked. We’ve tried to ‘work it through’. I’ve tried explain my point of view only to be told that it’s all me and that in order to fix it I have to change my point of view and attitude.

Guess what. I’m me. I’m not changing. To hell with changing. I’ve been someone else for almost all my life just to please the people around me and it has got me fuck-all in return.

Yeah. I’m married. I have responsibilities. Fine. I’ll live up to them, but I’m going to damned well do it my way. Go ahead and make decisions without my input and without considering my feelings. Go ahead and do it as a way to get back at me for not towing YOUR line. But you had better be prepared when I apply the same consideration in reverse in the future.

I’m sad. I’m hurt. And I am angry as hell for being so disrespected. There is no turning back.

Welcome to the brave new world.