It never rains, but it pours? or… IS truth stranger than fiction?
Cats: miscellanea|Weird week.
So… I’m stressed. And I’m doing it again. You know, that irrational mindset thing. I wake up daily with my perspective hazy from the emotional distortion that overlays everything I do, see, hear, read, think, feel. I’m calling a doctor. This is insanity, and I can’t tolerate it.
Lack of sleep.
Lack of direction.
Terror from not knowing where I’ll be in a month or two, or how much money I’ll have.
Feeling discarded, or disregarded, or devalued.
Wanting OH so badly to be taken ‘seriously’, only to behave in a way that even *I*, in a rational state, can not take seriously.
It’s like I have this weird multiple personality that comes out, takes over, and does everything possible to ruin all the things I value in life while I’m trapped inside watching.
Oh, and I’m broke, but I have to scrape something together since we have to go dance at Cairo Carnival this weekend…
THEN…
I got the call to fill in dancing for someone… so that’s cool. I’ll get to eat a meal out this weekend on our trip. 
THEN…
I got another call to go do a bellygram type thing, and since it was out of town an hour away, AND at freakin’ 7:45 a.m. (the morning after dancing and getting home close to midnight), quoted one and a half times what I would normally charge… and the guy blithely agreed! So…. I did it, now I have a little to put aside.
Hm. Can the good things come in threes, please, Bountiful Universe? Preferably in the form of fixing what my evil twin self keeps trying to break.
In the mean time, I’ll have a nap, try to get a grip, then do the laundry so I have underwear in L.A. Saturday and Sunday.
It’s the little things in life that are important. Like.. wearing underwear when one dances.
Yup.
OH yeah…. and Happy Birthday to two people in my life who I will never, ever forget, and without whom my life would not be nearly as interesting.
To the elder: I am grateful for you, I appreciate you, and I love you. I wish only all good things for you, always. I hope they find you.
To the younger: All of the above as well, and I do love you, no matter what. The truth of that doesn’t change, no matter my mindset.
