Joy Unconfined

Today… simple.

I’m counting Suicide Lounge.

Simple, in that… that’s something that counts for me right now.

Not so simple is… WHY it counts.

I remarked the other day that I still feel like I’m hallucinating when we rehearse or play together.

Not an exaggeration.

These guys know what they’re doing, and I just get to SING! I sing… and sing… and sing… And then they tell me maybe I need to do this, or that… and I do this or that… and I sing some more…

And my lord, it feels so good.

I think it may be saving my sanity.

Everyone has, you know, LIFE to deal with. Everyone has problems, large and small. Everyone cries, hurts, loves, loses, gets frustrated, and is just trying to get by.

This helps me get by when all the other things pile on and I’m not sure if I’m GOING to get by.

Maybe it’s some of the lyrics in songs, alternately humorous and profound:

“Hey there baby… WHERE do you think you’re goin’. You know I’m NEVER gonna let you leave me allllll alo-ine.”

“I’ll forget you, I will, while yet you are still burning inside my brain…”

“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered…”

“And you say I’m a fool-around, Honey that may be true, But I’d sooner fool around, Than be a fool for a fool”

“Trust in me…. JUST… in me….”

“God bless the child that’s got his own.”

It all counts. It counts because these guys are so good, and kind, but HONEST with me that I’m just honored to be there. It counts because I’m not singing all the time, and I prefer it that way. It counts that we have fun, and nobody takes him/herself too seriously, but we ARE serious about what we do being good. And we ARE good.

It counts… because when I’m singing… I’m not here, I’m not me, I’m in that other place where all I have to do is feel and channel what I’m feeling.

I like that place, and there are only two ways I can get there. I find… I need to visit it more often than I thought. I think, deep down, I’ve known that all along, I just… never had the chance.

These days… Suicide Lounge is the only road I have to get there.

It helps.

And it counts.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 7th, 2007 at 9:56 am and is filed under Da Count. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.