They are not long, the days of wine and roses:

Out of a misty dream

Our path emerges for a while, then closes

Within a dream.

BRING IT! Is there anything else that’s going to bring me to my knees?

If I’m going to find myself prostrate, sobbing, vomiting, and unable to breathe… let’s just get it all over with at once, shall we?

So I was cast aside this week… and now, I am told that it looks like my divorce is final.

And while that has been coming for some time now, it is still… very sobering. It’s real. Truly ended. And the feelings that come with that ending are devastating.

It hurts all the more, because the one person I’d have told first… the one person that it mattered to me to tell, to share the news with… is the one person who has informed me that I am not a real part of his life.

I’m laughing as I’m crying… because… I’m not sure if this qualifies as irony, but it IS damned ridiculous.

I shouldn’t be typing this. I can’t really see the keys or the screen anyway.

I’m so tired of hurting.