71 Things….

1] What is your middle name?
It’s another dish soap.

[2] What color is your mailbox?
Gray. Like all the other little boxes in the big metal box it inhabits.

[3] Do you have a crush?
Crush?
No.

[4] Have you ever hit a deer?
No. I’m something of a pacifist. I would never strike a deer, even in anger.

[5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
No.

[6] Do you get the paper delivered to your house in the morning?
I don’t read yellow journalistic periodicals.

[7] Who checks the mail in your house?
Me. Or the podling. Usually me.

[8] Do you have a small driveway?
Does the driveway through the apartment complex count? If so… big.

[9] Do you know anyone with the same ring tone as you?
Probably not. And it all depends on which ring tone.

[10] What do you do first in the morning?
Curse soundly.

[11] What brand is your printer?
HP

[12] Do you enjoy fighting with people?
No.

[13] Is your hair naturally straight or curly?
Straight.

[14] Who was your kindergarten teacher?
Mrs. Brazil (pronounced “BRA-zul” the ‘a’ is like the ‘a’ in “at”). The teacher’s aide was Mrs. Fish.

[16] Are you taller than your mother?
Yes.

[17] Do you have a favorite word?
No.
No, that’s it. My favorite word is ‘no’.

[18] Are you God?
Not me. Someone else is.

[19] What do you do to get over a broken heart?
I have found that I don’t get over one.

[20] Do you have a deep, dark secret?
Oh yes. Yes I have.

[22] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens?
Enjoy? Not so much…

[23] Does anything hurt on your body right now?
No. Finally. Arm’s a lot better, thanks for asking.

[24] Do you often cry during movies?
Not often. I try to avoid sappy shit.

[25] Do you hate your life?
Pretty much.

[26] Do you get mad easily?
More like… annoyed. Anger is reserved for special occasions.

[27] Do you drink to get drunk?
Never. And I’ve never been drunk. I find drunk people to be… well… sad.

[28] What is your biggest pet peeve?
Drivers who don’t get out of my way when they’re going slower than I am.

[29] What is your away message?
eh?

[30] Do any of your friends have kids?
Um… Yes?

[32] Who should pay on the first date?
The man. Ok… the person who asked the other one out. In my case, that would be the man, because I don’t ask people out.

[33] How many years older than you are you willing to date?
0. Because I’m not willing to date these days.

[34] Do you have any friends?
Supposedly. I guess. Probably? I hope.

[35] Do you have any mean friends?
Mean friends? hmmm… No, not really.

[36] What is the ugliest color in your opinion?
Pink.

[37] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends couldn’t stand?
Sure.

[38] Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff, seriously?
Yes.

[39] Have you ever been fired from a job?
Nope.

[40] What year was your first love?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.

[41] Do you have a cell?
What kind? Skin cell? Blood cell? What are we talking about? I have those kinds. Hopefully I don’t have a cancer cell or something…

[42] What brand are the pant/jeans you’re wearing right now?
I don’t know… I think they’re something from Target, because I’m cheap.

[43] How tall are you?
5 foot 5.

[44] What is the closest green object?
The speaker plug in the back of the computer on the desk in front me.

[45] What is on your feet?
Black high top sneakers with dragons embroidered up the sides.

[46] Do you like watermelon?
Yes.

[48] Do you want to have kids?
No thanks… oi’ve already GOT one… It’s verrra niiice.

[49] What is the brightest color you’re wearing currently?
Khaki/tan. Yeah. I’m a real standout.

[50] Who is the last friend you have that you would ever expect to be gay?
I don’t expect sexuality of people… gay or straight. It’s not something I generally contemplate about people, and certainly not my friends.

[52] What’s your mothers middle name?
uh-huh… Social Engineering, rearing your ugly head again, you sly thing.

[53] Stupidest movie you ever saw?
Six String Samurai. There are people who have said I didn’t comprehend it properly. I’d say they’re right. I found it dreadfully tedious.

[54] Do you collect comic books?
I probably would if I could afford it.

[55] Do you like your dad?
Yeah. He’s a good guy.

[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
Firefly.

[57] Are you wearing makeup?
On the eyes. I’m looking very tired these days. Must compensate.

[58] Do you have a tattoo?
Never.

[59] Have you ever been happily in love?
I thought I was. Ok… I WAS happy, happier than I’ve ever been in my life… but apparently the other person wasn’t nearly as enamored, and now I am more unhappy than I have ever been. Such is life. Up, down… plateau… recycle. I think I’ll just hang on the plateau indefinitely.

[60] If you won the lottery you would…
Pay all my bills, student loans, etc… Invest a large chunk of what was left, college fund for the podling… then maybe a new car or something.

[61] Is there something you want to tell someone, but you haven’t?
Many things. But I can’t. Not yet. Maybe never.

[62] Do you know how to draw?
Writing implement, blank surface… what’s there to know? Now, if the question is “Do you know how to draw well?” I’d have to answer with “no.”

[63] Who is your hero?
I don’t believe in heroes. Yeah, some people do amazing or wonderful things… but what one person finds amazing or wonderful may be considered a complete waste of time by someone else. Celebrities aren’t heroes, they’re just people who either got lucky, or worked their asses off to get what they have… Sometimes people who have done heroic things do become celebrities… and that often seems to cheapen the good thing they did in the first place. So… no. No heroes.
Although I do joke that Kermit the Frog is my hero, because it’s not easy being green.

[64] Who’d you last IM?
An old high school friend. Nice to know he’s still alive, but he certainly didn’t update me on his life or family. Then again… I bailed and went to bed before a real conversation could ensue.

[65] Do you work a lot of hours?
Not if I can help it.

[66] What do you do when you are stressed out?
I’m grumpy… but if I can sit down and pound on the piano and sing at the top of my lungs it sometimes helps a little. Dancing helps, too… but not always.

[67] Who was the last person that called you?
Um… My dad, I think.

[68] Is there anything you regret?
I used to make it a point to never regret anything, since all experience is a chance to learn. But now I have one thing that I do regret, a terrible betrayal of my better judgement, that will haunt me forever. I learned nothing from it, because I knew better in the first place. It was a wrong that I chose knowingly that had horrible consequences… and that is my regret.

[69] Do you know where your family names originated from?
Germany/Austria/Prussia… I think. I guess.

[70] Is there any animal/creature that creeps you out?
Any creature that sneaks up and startles me. THAT creeps me out. A spider that I didn’t know was there running across my arm, coming across a snake unexpectedly… that kind of thing.

[71] What was the last thing you did for fun?
Help someone with his film project on Monday and Tuesday. That was fun. And the coat had damned well better get film credit. It’s a star, too, ya know.

CheezChris’ … I need a nap. That was teeeedious.