Body:
[X] You know how to make a pot of coffee **(Yes, I’m that old.)**
[ ] You keep track of dates using a calendar **(I keep track of dates using an iphone)**
[x ] You own more than one credit card **(Sad. Very sad.)**
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car **(No, but I should probably learn.)**
[X] You’ve done your own laundry **(Daily, for more years than I can remember)**
[ ] You vote in every election
[X] You can cook for yourself **(It’s not exciting, but yes, I can cook)**
[ ] You think politics are exciting

TOTAL SO FAR: 4

[ ]You show up for school/college/work every day early **(school/college, no - work, on time… you see, if I’m paying, I do what I want, if I’m getting paid, I do what they want)**
[ ] You always carry a pen in your bag/purse/pocket
[x] You’ve never gotten a detention **(I’m a good girl, I am)**
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[X] You like to take walks by yourself/or with 1 other person **(walking = good)**
[X] You’ve watched talk shows **(who hasn’t? sometimes they’re like train wrecks, can’t look away)**
[X] You know what ‘credibility’ means without looking it up **(this… is not a hard word. my kid knew that when she was about 8)**
[X] You drink coffee at least once a week (or tea), **(yes, tea)**

TOTAL SO FAR: 9

[X] You know how to do the dishes **(What kind of lazy asses take these quizzy things??)**
[X] You can count to 10 in another language **(I learnt it wen I wuz in furst grayd)**
[X] When you say you’re going to do something you do it… **(Much to my detriment, it seems. Not everyone is so reliable in return. Especially boys.)**
[X] Your parent(s) trust you **(I think they do, anyway)**
[X] You can mow the lawn **(But now I don’t have to. YAY APARTMENTS!)**
[X] You can make adults laugh without being stupid **(At least, they do laugh when I’m witty. Maybe they’re just being nice. Hm, now I’m going wonder…)**
[ ] You remember to water the plants **(I kill plants just by being near them)**
[X] You study when you HAVE to **(Because, why study any other time?)**
[ ] You pay attention at school/college/work. **(When it’s important, I do. The rest of the time I just keep my head down and get what I need to done.)**
[ ] You remember to feed your pets.. **(Don’t have any, and this is why)**

TOTAL SO FAR: 16

[ x] You can spell ‘experience’ without looking it up **(I could spell experience when I was about 6 or 7)**
[ ] You work out on a regular basis **(Life is too short)**
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name **(Not fond of Starbucks. Too many creamy things, not enough flavory things)**
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out **(No, because take out generally doesn’t like me. It’s unkind to my entrails.)**
[ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine **(The first thing I do when I wake up is curse.)**
[ ]You can go to the store without getting something you don’t need **(Anything at the store is probably something I don’t need)**
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said **(I probably could if I tried, but… why?)**
[X] You can type quickly

TOTAL SO FAR: 18

[X] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour **(Except in July and August, and then the weather forecast is always “FUCKING HOT”)**
[ ]Your only friends are from your place of employment
[X] (moms) you have been to a Tupperware party **(and several other kinds of party, and I’m still not sure why, except as an excuse to socialize with other women who have no more in their lives than I did at the time. No such parties for me these days, unless they’re… well… nevermind.)**
[X] You have realized that no adult will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job **(This is true. Especially about that job thing. I still don’t have one. People don’t take me seriously. I’m such a slacker!)**
[X] You have more bills than you can pay **(And probably will until I drop dead.)**
[ ] Most of your friends are older than you & are married. **(Older, yes, married… not so much)**
[X] You can say no to staying out all night **(I can. I must, really, or I’d fall asleep in the middle of festivities. And that’s just such a mood killer.)**
[X] You use the internet every day **(How can I not?)**
[ ] Your wardrobe hasn’t changed in a while **(My wardrobe changes all the time. I can’t make up my mind.)**
[X] You can read a book and actually finish it **(I can. Sometimes it takes a while because I read several books simultaneously, and pick them up depending on my mood.)**

TOTAL ADDED UP: 25

The total is the age you will marry
Add up all the x’s and title subject with the sum as “My marriage age is__”

Ok. See, that’s funny, because I was married when I was 22. Divorced at 38. Probably will never marry again with the way things look.

The only possible candidate gives indications that it isn’t up to the task.

Yay for a lifetime of lack of fulfillment and celibacy.