No. Not this kind. Thanks. Already got this kind.

So, not only am I unemployed and apparently unemployable, even by temp agencies…

Now, apparently, my old, ugly, decidedly uninteresting car is worthy of breaking into.

6 a.m.

My doorbell is buzzing.

It’s my nice neighbor come to tell me she found the back passenger seat window of my car has been smashed.

I walk out to see why someone would do this thing.

Apparently because some moron needs to rummage through the trash on the front passenger floor, throw it in the back seat, and go through the glove box.

No, idiot criminals of Fresno, I do NOT keep valuables in my car. No, idiot criminals of Fresno, I do not HAVE valuables. I am probably WAY more broke than you are.

And now, thanks to you, I have to figure out how I can cover the deductible for the insurance on my aging car so I can repair the window that you destroyed; a window you destroyed to get NOTHING.

Hm… unless you got into my trunk and fucked around. Not that there’s anything worth having there, either, but hey… maybe you really wanted that case of drinho soymilk that I’ve been too lazy to carry upstairs for a week or two.

I’ll go check on that.

GDMFSOBPOSAHRB petty criminals!

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your nether regions.

Jesus, I’m pissed. Why MY car? You can’t tell the car of a person who has nothing at all?

So, now I have no life… no love… no job… no money… debt piled up so high I can’t see past it… no relief in sight… and now I have unwanted primitive air conditioning in my car.

I have no idea how I’m going to pay to get this fixed. NO fucking clue.

At least the day can’t get any worse, right?

Update - 9:50 a.m. Ok, so my insurance deductible for this is less than what a new window would cost, but I don’t even have that. So… if you feel sorry for me, click this and give me a dollar…

And if you’re in Fresno, the lovely, gorgeous, wonderful, very kind friend Solitaire, has set up a “Save The Joy” effort… She’ll be tending bar at The Starline on Tuesday, August 12. Show up, buy drinks, tip her, and I get to pay for my car window! See how this works? I’ve volunteered to be her barback/slave for the evening, because I should work for my charity handouts… so we’ll see if that’s going to fly with the powers that be. If nothing else, I’ll be there, cheering her on in her bartending efforts. (And she’s just way cute anyway.) So… yeah.

I’m not proud. I can’t afford to be anymore. Give me a handout. I SWEAR I’ll be grateful and bless you for it.

Second edit 12:19pm Ok. Just in case anyone is wondering, no I do NOT spend my days sitting in front of the computer. I just happen to be doing that today because I’ve been doing job searches and job applications online. It is really surprising the amount of time this takes, especially when they require you re-enter ALL your resume info for EVERY single job for which you’re applying. Time consuming. Tedious. A little depressing. Can you BLAME me for watching the email and checking the comments that come through on my blog in between searches and applications?

Wish me luck, people. I just really, truly want to be in the position that little things like today don’t throw me off so drastically. If you know if anyone is hiring, send ‘em my way, or me theirs. Being gainfully employed would put a COMPLETELY different perspective on the events of my morning. It would just be another thing to take care of and get fixed rather than the choice between the phone bill, the food bill, the insurance payment, or the power bill.

I know it won’t last forever. I’m hoping it won’t last another day or so.

The GOOD news is, my shower is fixed, so it isn’t constantly running. Joe, the maintenance guy, was very nice, and I am grateful to him. See? The day’s getting better already. I can shower now. And be NOT smelly.

Onward!

The only birthday card I’ve received. Yeah. Creepy. I like it.

1.Today, NASA is 50 years old. Just check Google for that one.

2.My shower has decided today was the day to become a leaky faucet. I finished my shower, tried to turn off the water, the hot water knob screwed all the way in, but water was still coming out. I’ve managed to fiddle with it enough to get it to be only a trickle, but it still needs to be fixed. Trying to figure out how to contact the landlord or management people.

3. Earthquake in SoCal. For the funniest coverage of a California earthquake EVER… click here. (My favorite is the somewhat “inappropriate” tweet.) On another note… watching online msnbc coverage of the quake… I actually saw a man of Indian descent being interviewed by a reporter, but he could only speak Spanish, so a little girl had to translate. So, little girl translates from an Indian man with Indian accent, but he’s speaking Spanish, because he had no English. ONLY in So Cal, people.

4. Suicide Lounge tonight at Veni Vidi Vici. If you don’t show up, I’ll know you don’t love me. 9 pm.

And, stolen from lecram’s blog

He said it could apply to me this year. I guess it does. The year of self-redefinition.

I don’t need you to worry for me cause I’m alright
I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home
I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, and leave me alone

I never said you had to offer me a second chance
(I never said you had to)
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
(I never said)
I still belong, don’t get me wrong
And you can speak your mind
But not on my time

They will tell you, you can’t sleep alone in a strange place
Then they’ll tell you, you can’t sleep with somebody else
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it’s okay, you wake up with yourself

I don’t need you to worry for me cause I’m alright
I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home
I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, and leave me alone

Well, probably not.

But I have a problem.

I haven’t been blogging much of late.

Well, not blogging with substance, anyway. I’ve been focused on life things, personal things.

This has become a problem. Why?

I’ve been contacted by Will Albritton of The Fresno Beehive. I am to be interviewed for a new series about local Fresno bloggers on the Beehive.

Me.

I know. I don’t quite understand it, either. But it’ll be fun! (You’ll see.) - I stole those last two lines from Fingers B. You know who you are.

So I got this call, from Mr. Will, and he asked if I’d answer some questions via email, and I said “sure”, and he said “great” and then I realized.

I’ve been a very bad blogger lately, and not at all interesting in my posting. Oh well. Too late now!

After all, anything I post to try to look cosmopolitan, clever, hip, intelligent, and in-the-know is just going to come off as stilted and trying too hard.

It is what it is, and I am what I am. (But that’s not all that I am. And I’m certainly not Popeye by any stretch of the imagination.)

So if you’re a new visitor to the land of Joy Unconfined, welcome. I’m not apologizing for being too pedestrian, too self-absorbed, too boring, to shallow or silly, or anything else.

And for those of you who are regular readers: No, I am NOT going to share my answers to the interview questions here. It’s not my gig, it’s Will’s. You’ll just have to keep checking the Beehive throughout next week and see what comes of the whole thing. Besides, there’s always something fun to read over there.

(I know; surprising for a mainstream publication funded community blog. But they really are cool cats and kittens over yonder. After all, this IS Fresno.)

Yes. You will see a blog almost identical to this appear on Fresnocentric.

I AM a vain little thing. The world must know.

Does this stuff mean anything? Really?

And why do the different “aspects” seem to contradict others?

After all, most of this is stuff in which anyone could see themselves.

But… for fun…

oooooh.

Those of you who know me… whaddaya think, kids?

Btw… got it from Astrocenter.com. In case you want to play, too.

I met one of my neighbors on my porch today…

At first I thought we weren’t going to be friends…

But then, when I went downstairs, my attention was requested…

And we had happy fun scratchy time together, oh… it was bliss…

And that’s when I met Satan…

Apparently it was just a little too good… too exciting… too itchy scratchy… and I have a war wound…

I picked these up at a consignment store a while back, along with several OTHER pairs of pretty foot coverings.

Apparently there’s some woman out there with the same size foot as me who buys gorgeous shoes, wears them once or twice, or never wears them, then decides to take them to the consignment store.

Yay for me!

So, I got lucky when my friend, Madame Peekaboo Pansy, called me from the store and said “You need to get down here right now. There are these shoes here on sale for $12 a pair.”

So I did. And went home with 10 pairs of shoes for probably a tenth of what was originally paid for them.

I… had a shoegasm.

This shot was taken on June 13th, at the Suicide Lounge show, by the lovely APJ, who incidentally also has great appreciation for a fine pair of heels.

though I doubt it’s the right way to go about making a choice. Then again, honestly I don’t think the choice matters anyway.

Forwarded to me in email:

Subject: Irish thoughts on 08 Election

THOUGHTS FROM ACROSS THE POND

An email from Ireland to their brethren in the States…
a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:

‘We, in Ireland, can’t figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.

On one side, you have a pants wearing lawyer, married to a lawyer who can’t keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer who goes to the wrong church who is married to yet another lawyer who doesn’t even like the country her husband wants to run.

Now… On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate Mc terminology married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship.

What in Lord’s name are you lads thinking over there??