Example #1

“How is it that a girl like you is single…”

Flattering. How nice! To be so surprised that I haven’t already been claimed by some wonderful man…

“…and available to be with a guy like me?”

SCREECHING HALT!

So… basically… by possibly making time for “a guy like you” I’m settling for something less than I deserve? And I would do this… why?

Example #2

It started out well…

“Please tell me you guys have cds!”

“No, not yet, but we’re working on it. Soon, we hope…”

“Oh. Well… then PLEASE tell me you’re single…”

Hmmm… is he trying to… maybe he is… he’s certainly not bad looking…

“…and you have really low standards.”

Ah. Never mind. Too bad. Thought there might be potential there.

A pat to the arm. “Well, I AM quite single, but my standards are good.” Swift exit.

Why do men do this? It started out nicely. He was friendly, he smiled, not bad looking, had all his teeth, didn’t smell bad, seemed to have some sense of personal style. All these things were summed up during the first sentence. He liked the band. Also a plus. He was hoping I was single. That’s flattering.

Then… not only did he manage to insult ME, he insulted himself, all in one fell swoop. Suggesting that I could POSSIBLY have low standards is not the way into my good graces. Suggesting that a woman must only have low standards to date someone like him doesn’t build any confidence in the kind of person I must be talking to.

What are men thinking when they say stuff like this? I’m too old to take my chances with a guy that’s still about as self-confident as a high school freshman. I’m not here to build you up. I’m not interested in training you to see yourself as worthwhile.

I want a guy that knows he deserves all that I have to offer, and I want a guy that recognizes that what I have to offer is considerable.

So, as I’ve said before, if a guy is unsure and afraid that I won’t be interested… I’m not.

What ever happened to, “Hi… my name is … I saw you here and wanted to introduce myself.” ?

Simple, cordial.

Sigh.

I’m too old for this shit, anyway. It’s not like I’m going to find anyone that measures up.