Because I don’t want to be a big bummer lamenting the loss of my neighbors and friends to the frozen North… They pulled away with the U-Haul today…

No, I won’t go on about that. You get a dumbass meme, instead.

guilty: you do
innocent: you don’t

Singing in the shower?: Guilty. I sing everywhere.

Left the stove on?: Guilty. But so far I always discover it before burning the house down.

Ate Stale food?: Guilty. I’m poor, and if it’s still edible, I have to eat it or starve.

Spit in someone’s Drink?: Innocent. I would never do this. Do unto others.

Stole Something from a friend?: Innocent. I’m not a thief. I AM guilty of borrowing things for a REALLY long time, but they always go home.

Played with Barbies?: Guilty. And I’ve left a long trail of headless and limbless Barbies in my past. I had pent up agression issues as a child.

Kissed your posters of your favorite stars?: Innocent. I never HAD posters of my favorite stars. Ok, I DID have a large sketch of James Dean. I never kissed it. Just wished I could meet someone as hot as that.

Listened to stupid music and said you like it?: Innocent. If I don’t like it, I’m not going to pretend I do.

Made someone cry? Guilty. I’m a mom. It’s my job.

Opened your Christmas presents early?: Innocent. Unless you count the Christmas Eves with ONE family and Christmas Days with the OTHER family.

Found money, and didn’t turn it in?: Guilty. Who would you turn it in to… some kid at a counter who you KNOW isn’t going to hold it for someone to come back? I suppose if it was a huge amount, OR I actually saw who dropped it, I’d give it back.

Gave money to a homeless person?: Guilty. I don’t mind sharing if I have change in my pocket.

Thought “Star Wars” was cool?: Guilty. Duh.

Had a super-hero costume?: Innocent. Just never got around to it.

Lied to protect a friend?: I’m not sure. I suppose I would if it were necessary…

Broken a bone?: Guilty.

Seen “The Goonies” more than 10 times?: Innocent. I’m not even sure if I’ve seen it once.

Played a Computer game for more than 5 hours?: Guilty. They can be addictive.

Dyed your hair a color from the rainbow?: Innocent. Just henna for me.

Hugged your mom in the past 24 hours?: Innocent. We’re not a huggy kind of family.

…Have you Ever…

Ran through the sprinklers?: ~Guilty. I still do it.

Ran through the sprinklers naked?: ~Not sure. I imagine I might have as a toddler…

Went outside naked?: ~Guilty. In private, most certainly.

Flashed somebody?: ~Guilty.

Mooned somebody?: ~Innocent. Not in the classic sense. Though I HAVE bent over purposefully in front of an audience… but all they saw were the ruffly panties.

Been on stage?: ~Guilty. Repeatedly.

been on stage naked or close to it?: ~Guilty. I guess. Pasties and a thong count, right?

Been in a parade?: ~Guilty. High school marching band. Mardi Gras parade last year…

Been in a school play?: ~Guilty. I was Kim in Bye Bye Birdie. How lovely to be a woman.

Drank beer?: ~Guilty.

Went to work/school with a hangover?: ~Innocent. I have yet to actually experience a hangover. I intend to keep it that way.

Gotten detention?: ~I don’t remember. Possibly. I wasn’t always an angel.

Gotten expelled?: ~Innocent.

Been on a plane?: ~Guilty. I still don’t like it.

Been on a cruise?: ~Innocent. Never worked out.

Traveled out of the country?: ~Guilty. Denmark/Sweden, Canada, Mexico

Liked somebody you could never have?: ~Guilty. I guess. I suppose.

Liked a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend?: ~Innocent.

Cheated on a test?: ~Innocent.

Broken into a house?: ~Innocent.

Stolen from your own family?: ~Innocent.

Flipped somebody off?: ~Guilty. Yesterday.

Ate spoiled food by accident?: ~Guilty. And who does that on PURPOSE?!

Ate spoiled food on purpose?: ~Innocent. Seriously??

Ate food you dropped on the floor?: ~Guilty. 3 second rule.

Laughed at a funeral?: ~Guilty. I find humor in the most inappropriate situations.

Watched somebody’s death?: ~Innocent.

Killed somebody?: Innocent. So far.

Gotten a tattoo?: ~Innocent.

Gotten piercings?: ~Guilty. Just ears. As a kid. I let them close. I’m unpierced now.

Fired a gun?: ~Guilty. And it was fun.

Gotten into a fist fight?: ~Innocent. I’m not good at confrontation.

Gotten into a shouting match?: ~Innocent. I’m not a loud person. I’d lose. Why shout?

Swallowed sea/pool water?: ~Guilty. It just happens, even if you try REALLY hard not to.

Swallowed sea/pool water on purpose?: ~Innocent. Ew.

Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?: ~Guilty. Cheap high, and there aren’t many side-effects unless you fall and hurt yourself.

Laughed so hard it hurt?: ~Guilty. But it’s been too long.

Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: ~Innocent.

Seen a live birth?: ~Guilty. If you count my podling, and I had an awkward perspective… but yeah.

Delivered a baby/animal?: ~Guilty. If you count giving birth.

Had an imaginary friend?: ~Innocent. I never believed in these things.

Fell down a whole flight of stairs?: ~Innocent.

Tripped on stairs?: ~Innocent. I tend to be extra cautious on stairs.

Tripped on your own feet?: ~Guilty. Because I’m not always graceful.

Cried yourself to sleep?: ~Guilty. Far too often over the last 3 years. Still happens.

Cried in public?: ~Guilty. Though I consider it a sign of great weakeness on my part.

Thrown up in public?: ~Guilty. Flu. Moving car. Had to pull over. BAD.

Lied to your parents?: ~Guilty. Never about anything important, but there are some things that they might find uncomfortable.

Skipped school?: ~Guilty.

Hit an animal with your vehicle?: ~Guilty. Couldn’t help it. Swerving might have been disastrous… if it’s me or the ground squirrel… the ground squirrel goes down.

Been cheated on: ~Guilty. Pain.

Been one who helped another cheat?:~Guilty. Same person. Being the other woman to the other woman… Whatever.

Cried so hard you threw up?: ~Guilty. Bad times. Bad, bad times.

Given a wet willy to someone?: ~Guilty. I have siblings.

Gotten a wet willy?: ~Guilty. I have siblings.

have sex? ~Guilty. Duh.

with a virgin?: ~Innocent. Yeah. I’m pretty sure I’m innocent on that charge.

wore a thong?: ~Guilty. Costuming.