Life certainly hasn’t slowed down.

I’m still bellydancing here and there, and part of the movement to get a local MECDA chapter up and running. We’re well on our way with that. There are a good number of local people ready for a thriving bellydance community here, and I think it will be a very good thing.

Still burlesquing. Just not as actively. It’s still fun, and fabulous. I just have to reignite my inspiration (and lose 30 pounds so I FEEL inspired).

I have a couple business ventures I’ve started. One is my own Lia Sophia business, helping people host jewelry parties in their homes, so THEY can get free jewelry and other awesome bonuses, while earning income myself. It’s a good fit. I like sparkly things. I like to share sparkly things with other people… Presenting to other people isn’t a problem, and I get to keep and wear all the jewelry I use as sample/display, so it’s all good. So what if it’s not fine jewelry? It’s still pretty.

I’m also dabbling in a Visalus business, more to use the product than anything, but my parents have been doing it, and they’ve both lost weight and had improved blood sugar levels! (They both have diabetes.)

Still Suicide Lounge-ing here and there, and it’s still fun. We keep adding new material every so often, so it never gets stale.

The rest of life is… life. Mostly frustrating, sometimes exhilarating, nearly always interesting. (The old curse “may you live in interesting times” comes to mind.) I could still use a job and a steady income. Not necessarily in that order. I do keep busy.

Maybe I’ll update here more often. Talk about new things I’ve tried recently, etc…

OH! Speaking of which… I got a new toy! It’s not a big deal, but I like this sort of thing. Intuit gave me a credit card reader that I can use with my iphone and Intuit’s GoPayment app… so when I’m getting paid for a gig, or getting paid for some costume-y thing I’m selling, I can tell people that I accept credit cards. Just swipe it through the reader, input the dollar amount, have them sign the touch screen and we’re done. If you have a smart phone, you can get one too. They send it to you for free, and it’s a small transaction percentage, but totally worth it to me, for the convenience. Just go to the Intuit site to read more about it.

Those are why I’m sore. Very, very sore. Those videos are just of Friday, and I only took pictures for a few minutes. The rest was hours spent shakin’ my groove thang and being generally ridiculous. We did this both Friday AND Saturday nights. Until nigh upon 2 a.m. Or so.

(Joy learned that Joy needs to get her backside dancing again. It feels SO good to feel SO sore. Need to start moving more. Hey. That’s a rhyme.)

All this dancing was after spending the days wandering around Rakkasah shopping, and stopping to sit and watch performance after performance. I saw so many wonderful dancers and groups, I can’t remember all of them…

Highlights… lets’ see… These are in no particular order… just as they come to mind…

Got to see Suhaila’s repertoire ensemble dancers doing the Unmata sword choreography, and they rocked it… of course. (Including her daughter, Isabella, who is only… what, 9 or 10?)

I saw Sabiba, who I always enjoy watching. She has an incredible mix of drama, showmanship and absolutely precise technique that is awe inspiring to me.

Finally, finally, finally got a chance to see Oreet again. So fantastic. I love her style.

Kaeshi Chi is so cool and smooth, but totally fierce, all at the same time. I love it when someone brings something unique to the mix.

Alfredo! Wow… to see a man dancing with a sword like a man! Fabulous!

Tanjora, of course, doing 3 of their numbers from the recent Rogue show. Jackie nailed her veil… and appreciative people kept telling her how cool, talented, beautiful she is throughout the weekend. (It also happened to be her birthday on Saturday, and how cool is that to have so many people admire you on your birthday weekend?) She deserves the kudos. She really is a fantastic dancer already, and she has so much ahead of her! I hope she never stops.

Jim Boz… he looks fantastic, and had the crowd eating out of his hands, as always.

Willow and the Sangha Dance Theatre put on a fun show, beautiful dancing, nice theme.

Fahtiem… as always, just gorgeous, so poised, so perfect and such an honor and pleasure to watch. Some day… SOME day I will figure out that side to side belly roll…

Heidi Alexander and the Naughty Knickers with Ava Fleming. What an adorable themed “can-can” show, that made the proper blend of fun, funny, and REAL bellydance. WITH absolutely flawless dancing.

Then seeing Suhaila Salimpour take the stage and absolutely OWN the room as she did… I’ve never seen that. A real Egyptian style set with her absolutely magnificent live band… the gorgeous duet of her taksim and violin… her absolute comfort on the stage, just dancing and dancing and dancing, the waves of love pouring from her audience and the way she reflected it back. Then she stepped into the wings and her tiny daughter absolutely filled the stage. The Salimpours really do represent American bellydance royalty; 3 generations of accomplished dancers. Like them or not, they are a huge influence on the direction the dance takes in this country. In my opinion, they have been good stewards of the responsibility of being so well-known and looked up to.

I know there were many other dancers and groups that I saw. Some I liked, some I loved, some weren’t what I like. That’s the way it always works at these festivals. Not everyone is going to like or appreciate everything they see.

The one thing I wish I had NOT missed was Nubian Moon Daughters from New York. I’m told they brought people to tears with the absolute truth and beauty of their dance. They did say they will have a DVD soon. I can only hope.

So there was the dancing, but there was also the SHOPPING. And I did do some of that. Not as much as I’d have liked, but I have a few treasures, and some raw materials for a costume that I’ve been working on for EVER so long.

Then there was the music. Pangia played, of course, and Helm… and I’ve definitely become a fan of Djinn. In fact, even if you aren’t really into the whole bellydance style music thing, you might find you like the music of Djinn. Because it’s just that groovy, man. (How can it not be groovy with a human beat box, a hurdy gurdy, and traditional instruments all mixed together?)

It was a good weekend, not least because I got to spend it with some really wonderful women that I consider to be very dear friends. We were a kooky bunch.

But I’m sore. Foot sore. Body sore.

Thursday, the evil VD day… was a lovely evening of wonderful conversation, fantastic food, and good friends. That will be blogged later, and added to Fresnocentric.com. Suffice it to say, though, that it was probably the best Feb. 14th I’ve had in 23 years.

Friday was the podling’s birthday. She’s a teen now. I’m skeered.

Not really. She’s a fabulous kid, a wonderful person, an intelligent young lady, and just plain fun to be around. Thursday afternoon I had taken her to one of her favorite stores in the Tower District to pick her gift, since I’d rather give her a present she actually LIKES than give her something she doesn’t value. She got some lovely silver drop earrings with gemstones. On Friday night my parents joined us and her dad to have dinner at TGI Fridays and go see Spiderwick. It was entertaining, but she was deeply disappointed with the way the books were translated to the screen. She had found the books to be diverting and magical. She refers to the movie as “Two hours of a troll blustering around and breaking things.”

Saturday was a day of hanging out, being at home, relaxing. Kinda nice.

Saturday evening I had picked up a gig to go dance for a birthday party at a local nightclub/hookah bar. A friend of mine couldn’t do the gig, so she called me and asked if I would do it. The pay was less than I would normally ask, but I didn’t have anything going on, and didn’t mind doing it.

THAT was interesting. I had danced there when the place first opened as a restaurant. The clientele was nice, the food was great. Then they switched over to a more nightclub/bar atmosphere, but I’d gone there a few times to see friends dance, and it still seemed a fun and classy atmosphere despite the fact that the food took a nosedive.

This time, I walked in and saw four girls on pedestals set up on the dance floor… in cheezy beaded/coined costumes… um… wiggling. They weren’t really dancing. Sometimes they gyrated. Mostly it was wiggling. Maybe it was because there wasn’t a whole lot of room on the little platforms on which they stood. Still… I couldn’t help but think, “Wow… the atmosphere of THIS place has changed. And not for the better.”

But I was there to do a job. I found the young lady that hired me and introduced myself. She asked if I would wait for a half hour to an hour later to perform than the performance time stated on the contract. I told her I would be happy to do that, but that there would be a $20 charge for every 15 minutes past the original agreed upon performance time. Her exact words were, “You’re going to CHARGE me?!” I smiled and said, “It’s in the contract you signed.” She decided she would not wait, and was going to pay me right away. She wrote a check and I proceeded to wait.

And wait. She was still having guests arrive, so I decided to be flexible about time and not charge her for the first 15 minutes past performance time.

I probably waited 20 minutes past the original performance time before she told me it was a good time for my set. Great! I gave my cd to the DJ, explained how long it was, and prepared to do a 16 1/2 minute set of Isis wings, cane, belly beads, a drum, and some fun songs to get birthday girl and guests out dancing. I had planned this set because I was told she had specifically requested “interesting” dancing, especially props.

Before I went on, I clearly explained to her that the first 3 songs were prop dances, and then I would invite people out to dance and have fun on the fourth song.

The music started, I wafted in dramatically with wings, and that seemed to go over well… once the pedestal girls realized that if they didn’t get down OFF the pedestals they might get smacked with the wings. As the music changed over to the second song, I went to drop the wings and pick up my cane… when the birthday girl and her party decided to swarm the dance floor. I struggled not to hit people with the cane as I attempted to do my number, but then decided to just chuck the cane and let them do their thing.

It was clear at that point that a bellydancer was hired not to actually perform, but just be atmosphere and background.

That’s cool. It’s her party. So, I remained on the floor and danced with the group, pictures were taken, it seemed like people were having fun. Though no one was tipping. I got the distinct impression that these people were unfamiliar with the idea.

When my music was up I gracefully exited the floor, gathered my things, put on my coverup and prepared to leave when one of the girls came over, gave me a hug, thanked me for being able to come out on such short notice and pressed some bills into my hand, saying “This is for you.” It’s not the first time people have waited until after the fact to offer a gratuity. I thanked her and said I hoped everyone had a good time, then left.

The next morning, when I counted the ‘tip’ she had given me, it was sizable, but not the largest tip I had ever received. The fact that it was the same amount as the fee for dancing didn’t seem TOO unusual. In the past I have had my original fee more than doubled by tips received after the fact.

I reported back to my friend about the gig, what had happened, how it went, since it was her agency that the booking had gone through.

Two days later, my friend called me to say that the girl had called and said I had been paid twice. When told that I had thought it was a gratuity she said “Who would tip THAT much?” Apparently this girl has no idea what bellydancers really get paid. She said she’d stop payment on her check. My friend said the check had already been deposited. So… now we have to send this very confused young lady a check for her mistake. Then she apparently went on to complain that I hadn’t done much. Well, of course I didn’t. My friend replied that I had prepared a set of more than 15 minutes with several prop portions but was not able to do them because the party took over the dance floor before I had a chance to do more than one of them.

Note to self: Do not dance at this particular establishment again. Given that they have ‘fake bellydancers’ on pedestals wiggling, it seems the clientele don’t understand what a real dance performance entails, and don’t know how to respond appropriately. I did not feel comfortable walking in because of the atmosphere. It made me feel sad that these girls were tarted up in barely-there coins and beads to wiggle on display, and I honestly did not want to be associated with that in any way. Given that feeling, it would be a waste of my time to dance there again, especially for the low compensation for my trouble.

It’s just so sad. I remember how nice the owners were back when we started, and I remember how much I enjoyed dancing there and being around those people.

I can’t really blame them. You have to do what makes money, and I guess sex sells. At least it’s not a strip bar…

Sunday I got to take the podling to spend her birthday money on some new clothes (as was her grandmother’s intention). It was fun, except for the part where one of her friends called her and wanted her to come to the park. In the middle of our shopping trip. She got grumpy when I told her that was not going to be possible. Other than that, much retail therapy was accomplished, and she found a few cosmic bargains, getting pants IN HER TEENY LITTLE MINISCULE SIZE for $7 on clearance. You go podling.

Now… I have to gear up for the next weekend, which is a bellydance showcase on Saturday (that I still need to advertise and get the word out about), and Ananka’s tech rehearsal on Sunday… though… I may or may NOT be singing for them now, because the sound equipment issue is still up in the air.

Whee…

I have heard too many first hand accounts of the nastiness directed at others, the talking behind backs while the unknowing target puts heart and soul into their performance, the sniping and cruel criticisms, the venom and tittering laughter while someone does their best on stage.

I have seen the results of these passive-aggressive tactics.

And now I’m pissed. This nonsense needs to stop. Grown women should not behave, act, or REact as it seems people are doing.

For one thing, if you have a problem with someone, or the way they have costumed, or the photos they took to promote an upcoming event, or their performance… it is inappropriate to discuss such things with others in a derogatory and scathing manner. It makes you look like an ass. It makes you appear to be nothing better than jealous, and nothing less than petty.

Dancers, performers, instructors, who are confident in their abilities and in the esteem of their students and audiences… do NOT need to disparage the efforts of other dancers.

Someone who has nothing to fear, and who deserves the respect of everyone in a local dance community, should NOT be spreading innuendo, rumor, and outright lies about a person they have not had the courage to approach regarding that person’s intentions or troupe affiliation.

No. Let me be blunt. That may be best. Let’s just really lay the cards out on the table here. I’ll show my hand. Do you have the courage to show yours? Hm?

Do not go to my instructor, the person I consider to be my main dance mentor, someone very dear to my heart, and fill her ear with poison about me or my intentions. How can someone who has spent almost no time with me, has no clue about my character or integrity, and who has made NO attempt to address their concerns TO me… have any idea what I’m thinking, or what I’m doing?

I am angered that a person would DARE to use someone I respect so much in this way. I am aghast that they would presume to pay lip service to the idea of “hurting her”, when it is their own intrigue, whisperings and conjecture that does the hurting.

Do you want to know what troupe I identify with, of which I am a part? Ask ME.
Do you want to know if I intend to leave that troupe? Ask ME.
Do you want to know why I’m participating in an event? Ask ME.

I have always been up front about my intentions. I dance with whom and where I please. That has always been clear. When I have committed to a troupe event, I won’t let anything get in the way of that. That does not stop me from pursuing other interests at other times.

My instructor has always been supportive of my efforts to learn and grow. She has always been supportive of my efforts to dance at various events, in various venues, with various people.

I have always been clear in my affiliation with her troupe whenever I DO those events, so people will know who taught me. It gives credit where credit is due. It makes it clear that, while I’m doing an outside event, I am also part of something else, and maybe people will want to see what that’s all about as well.

So, yes, I use the troupe name when promoting my dancing, because people should know that members of our troupe are versatile.

There is no disrespect for my instructor in dancing with other people. In fact, it shows the respect she has for ME, or any of her other students, that she encourages us to pursue our dance interests outside what we do with the troupe.

I am disheartened that there are those who seek to undermine the relationship between my teacher and her students by coming to her with twisted tales of what I’m doing, and why I’m doing it.

These same people who have, by first hand accounts, spoken so very poorly of her, and said things I find reprehensible.

So let’s just clear the air. I have absolutely nothing to hide, and I certainly have no shame in what I’m about to say.

My name is Joy. I am a dancer with the Ananka Dance Company in Fresno, California, and I have been so affiliated since 1998. My teacher, and main instructor, is Ely Buffin. She has a wealth of knowledge of which I know I haven’t even scratched the surface. She is also a wonderful human being that I am pleased to have made a part of my life, and I would never intentionally, or knowingly, disrespect her. I have much to learn from her, and as long as she is willing to share her knowledge with me, I will keep learning.

I also dance with other people. There are several former students of Ely’s that I consider good friends. If and when I am invited to dance with them, I will do so as I please, as my time and schedule allow, with a happy heart that I can share my time with people who share my dance roots.

I will dance with people who are not affiliated directly with Ely. I have in the past, and intend in the future, to learn from many different instructors, take workshops in things that interest me, and continually pursue different styles of dance.

I count Lydia, the director of Tanjora Tribal Bellydance, as a dear friend. We have discovered many things in common outside of our shared interest in dancing, and our friendship has grown, independent of it. I have danced with her at various times. She has referred jobs to me, and I have shared job referrals with her. I have no intention of avoiding association with her, or her troupe. I have met most of the people that dance with her, and I like everyone I have met thus far. If invited to dance with them as a guest, I would be delighted to do so.

People who treat me with respect and kindness will receive the same from me. I am saddened to know there are those for whom I once held great respect and esteem that have seen fit to make assumptions about me and my personal character that are incorrect and unflattering.

I will make no apologies for participating in an event billed as “pirate bellydance”.

It’s fun. It’s funny. It’s a lark. It’s fantasy. It also happens to be a popular trend nationwide. It’s performance art of a different kind. (And not much of a departure from what I’ve done with the troupe all these years.) What IF… pirate wenches bellydanced? What would that look like?

If you come to the show on May 25, you’ll get our perspective on the idea.

I may be unwelcome at your events, but you are more than welcome to attend mine. What I do may not be what you do, but I don’t fear what you do. I do not consider what you do as a reflection on MY artistic expression. And you should not consider what *I* do as a reflection on yours.

You can be certain I will show less skin while doing it than the persons who have made unkind remarks about my photos have shown in their own past performances.

And I always wear proper underwear.

Thanks to everyone who sent along kind wishes to Lisa and me. The support of dear friends and mere acquaintances alike are truly appreciated. That’s what I love about the people in our dance community.

I’ll get right down to the nitty gritty to start with, and then spew all my opinionation and personal feelings. We did compete as a duet on Saturday at the Bellydancer of the Year competition. Did we win? No. Did we place? No. Are we disappointed. Of course. Who wouldn’t be?

I don’t care who you are… and no matter the motivations for entering a contest like this… when you put that much time, effort, and dedication into something, it’s disappointing when you don’t see a return on your investment.

That being said…

There were only 4 entries (including us) in the duet/trio category. And they were ALL good.

It’s a bit disconcerting when you walk into the dressing room and find that last year’s Bellydancer of the Year and director of last year’s Troupe of the Year happens to be competing with a partner as a duet.

Ooooookay… so pressure’s off THERE. We know, instantly, that it is HIGHLY unlikely we will take the title. (Unless they both fall flat on the stage for some unfathomable reason. What are the odds? And who would wish that on them? They’re good. Everybody knows it. Besides, they’re are DAMNED cute, and not just to look at. Sweet and wonderful, up close and personal.)

Ok… so then we look around and see the other two duets. (Oddly, there were ONLY duets this year, no trios. For the several years past that I’ve attended, there have always been trios. Guess it was just a trend this year.) Both of the other duets are… well… gorgeous young women with million dollar costumes. The young ladies that took the first runner up spot (the only other trophy/placing, because the category was so small) happened to be absolutely lovely twins.

How do you compete with that?

I will say we gave it our best, and from viewing the video, I’m not at all displeased with or ashamed of our performance. We had a solid choreography. We were well-connected mentally. Our timing and interpretation were exactly as we intended them to be. There was only one visible spot where our arms weren’t in exactly the same position. Our zills were great; as they ALWAYS are. It’s one of our strong points. We were NOT bad. We were good.

We only had a chance to see the other duet that didn’t place, and we know THEY were good, too.

There is no shame in not taking the prize when in the company of that caliber of competitors.

Thing is… it’s all subjective. There is a panel of judges, and each judge has things that he/she likes. Two of the judges very clearly did NOT like us. At least, not that much. Their scores were SIGNIFICANTLY lower, down the line, than any of the others. Do I know who they are? No. Does it matter? Not in the least. What they saw (and heard) was just not something to their liking. The rest seemed to like us just fine.

The only negative (and really, not all that negative) comments on the score sheet were from these two judges. They did not like our musical arrangement. To them, it was distracting. They didn’t like the changes, and it seems they didn’t like the way one section led into the next. Nothing to be done about that. We actually planned the music and those changes, very carefully. We purposefully didn’t dwell too long on one segment or style… because when we watch dancers, we find it boring when they go on and on in one vein for a long time. Such is life. Not everyone likes the same thing.

There have been speculations that maybe they had some preconceived notions of us due to the nature of the photo we sent in. (See my Tribe profile photo.) It definitely is NOT your ‘run-of-the-mill’ bellydancer photo. Not slick, not packaged, not princess-y. It’s actually a snapshot, taken outside a bar at our performance prior to the Solace show in Fresno. Definitely done tongue-in-cheek, and certainly meant in that spirit. So… maybe people see it… and just don’t get it. But that’s ok, too. One thing we are NOT is self-important. As for me… I am personally incapable of taking any sort of ‘serious’ photo that says… “Ah, yes… look at me… the professional bellydancer. So elegant and refined…” Just not my personality. I can’t do it.

Maybe that’s a bad thing, as far as self-promotion. Oh well.

So will we ever know why they didn’t like us enough? Probably not. Maybe we don’t have the look. Maybe being 10 – 20 years older and 10-20 pounds (or more) larger than the other competitors was a disadvantage. Maybe our choice of music just wasn’t traditional enough. Maybe our costuming wasn’t slick enough.

Doesn’t matter. We are who we are. We poured ourselves into our presentation, and it reflected our tastes and our dancing. We worked hard, and we made it there. We gave it a shot, and I like to think we gave the audience a good, enjoyable show. They were certainly noisy enough.

Like Forrest Gump…. that’s all I have to say about that.

As for the rest of the pageant… it’s always a great show. Being behind the scenes for a change really hit home just how much work these people do to get this show up and running. They are dedicated, professional, and really… quite wonderful. They demonstrate concern not only for the production and the interests of the show, but for all the dancers and the experience they have. After… what is it… 30-some years … they definitely have a system that works, but they aren’t averse to updating and improving upon it. My hat’s off to everyone involved.

Now… on to my impressions of the soloist category. From the preliminaries through the finals, it was several hours of VERY enjoyable dancing. Those women, every single one, gave outstanding perfromances. A favorite of mine that did not make it to the finals was… I think… Henni ( not sure if I spelled that right). She happened to be the first person to dance, and that is a VERY unenviable position to have. But I still remember her, even after seeing the stellar performances of the finals. Come back, Henni, whoever you are… do it again! Don’t give up, because I think you’re cool.

Ok, so my picks, going into the finals, were Ahava, Nadira, Sandra, Chris! … everyone else was… in my opinion, at about the same level, as far as my enjoyment in watching them. (As I said, it was an awesome show.)

I have to say my hands-down favorite of the weekend was Ahava. I thought she was phenomenal on Saturday… but then I saw her performance on Sunday. This is not an exaggeration… I wept while she was dancing. She was absolutely one of the most beautiful things I have EVER seen. Her interpreation was, for me, perfect. Her timing was flawless, and I just… well, I felt something really wonderful coming off that stage. She had a presence that absolutely filled that auditorium. Goosepimples. Some people said she didn’t smile enough… but you know, she didn’t need to. No need for that sometimes-pasted-on smile. She was regal, and she was gorgeous. If it had been my choice, she would have walked away as the uncontested winner. I hope I get to see her dance again some time.

My other favorites were Nadira and Sandra. Sandra is a technical wonder, and Nadira is just downright gorgeous in movement and in form. Nadira blew my socks off on Saturday, but was not QUITE as wonderful on Sunday. (Still wonderful, though.) Sandra performed consistently… she’s fantastic… and, well, her look, and choice of costuming, appeals to me.

Regardless… all the competitors were a class act. It was a TRULY great show, as an audience member. I don’t know how the judges do it.

A quick note, as well, about this year’s Grand Dancer, Thia. I am so impressed with this woman. Observing her prior to performance, I found her to be a poised, beautiful, gracious, classy lady… and when I finally got to see her encore performance on Sunday, she blew me away. (Despite technical difficulties with her music… WHICH, I might add, she handled with aplomb and professionalism. WHAT a woman!) Yet another example that a mature woman cannot be counted out, when it comes to this dance. Not when you have as much talent as that woman has in her little toe. It gives me hope. I wouldn’t mind at ALL being like her when I grow up as a dancer.

One last thought before I put the weekend behind me and forge ahead through my own personal trials to come this summer.

I have to applaud all the competitors that shared the dressing room the day I was in there. One may think that getting a group of talented, driven and competitive women together would be a recipe for disaster. That was absolutely not the case in my experience. Everyone was gracious, kind, and friendly, even. While I did see some lost in concentration and focus, no one was cranky, no one tried to undermine the spirits of anyone else. I saw many smiles, good-natured laughter, and genuine care.

Again… that is the BEST of our dance community, and every one of those people should be held up as an example of how to behave in the company of fellow dancers.

So. Congratulations to the award winners. Thanks to the pageant organizers.

And many, many thanks to my dance partner. We worked hard together. We worked very WELL together. I am forever grateful for the experience, for the things I have learned from her, for the confidence in me that she has shown. I am honored to have been her partner. I am honored to be her friend.

Now…. onward.