Joy Unconfined

She is fond of ice cream, chocolate, cheese and many greasy foods. She’s very pushy. And I am fat because of her. Which feeds her. So there are more grilled cheese sammiches. And trips to the freezer for a few spoonfuls of french vanilla. And I’m out of chocolate.

No. Not this kind. Thanks. Already got this kind. So, not only am I unemployed and apparently unemployable, even by temp agencies… Now, apparently, my old, ugly, decidedly uninteresting car is worthy of breaking into. 6 a.m. My doorbell is buzzing. It’s my nice neighbor come to tell me she found the back passenger seat [...]

For all those who read and responded to that last post… thanks, I guess. It honestly wasn’t a plea for commiseration. It was just a pouring-out of what has been bouncing around in my head to try and sort it. And believe me, it was a very shallow pouring-out. There’s still a lot in there [...]

Supposedly this is the Year of Self-Redefinition. So says the sage who predicts the theme of the year at precisely 12:01 am New Year’s Day. (I don’t know about this guy… I’m still a little pissed about the prediction for 2007. It turned out to be ALL too true. The Year of Letting Go was [...]

It has this weird tendency to just… go on. The train keeps speeding down the track whether I’m paying attention to what’s happening outside the window or not. A while back, I can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment, I decided I would start being more present during the ride. You know, rather than just make [...]

I used to know. Turns out that what I “knew” was based on false data. So I wonder.

Inconvenience is a problem. It’s my own damned fault. I probably should NOT have been on the skateboard. But I was bonding with the podling. In the car (which she had to start and put in gear for me), on the way to the hospital, I remarked to her that the first thing I would [...]

They are not long, the days of wine and roses: Out of a misty dream Our path emerges for a while, then closes Within a dream. BRING IT! Is there anything else that’s going to bring me to my knees? If I’m going to find myself prostrate, sobbing, vomiting, and unable to breathe… let’s just [...]

I’m getting TIRED of The Year of Letting Go. No. Really. Let’s look at this… January… on the first I began to suspect something… well, wonderful.January 9, I found out the truth of something I wanted more than any other thing on this earth.By January 16th… it was no more. The only thing I have [...]

I know how people feel when they decide to kill themselves. Not going to do that, myself, because I just can’t cop out that way. No. I’m going to demand resolution and retribution from this life. But goddamn, do I KNOW how it feels. The despair, the absolute rock bottom lack of hope for the [...]